Spidell's Tax Season Tribune

Those timeless tax time treats

By Sandy Weiner

Contributing Editor

Last year we ran an article on tax season treats. Not surprisingly, tax pros opt for fairly predictable options such as Smarties, Almond Joys, and microwave popcorn (burnt, of course).

But what if tax offices were to follow some of the trends of food makers that are getting far more creative with their culinary delights, such as:¹

Van Leeuwen Ice Cream’s Hidden Valley Ranch or pizza ice cream;
Jones Soda’s gravy-flavored soda;
Oreos’ Sour Patch Kid Oreos;
IHOP and Lay’s Rooty Tooty Fresh n’ Fruity potato chips, designed to taste like strawberry-topped pancakes with a hint of bacon; and
United Kingdom’s Walker’s special Christmas-edition brussel spout-flavored potato chips.

So, what would you like to find in your tax office’s break rooms? Here are some AI-inspired suggestions (thanks Claude and ChatGPT!) to perk up your staff:

Deductible donuts: These special donuts come with a sticky note that says, “100% business expense. Don’t ask questions”;
Return receipt rolls: Pinwheel sandwiches with different fillings (e.g., baloney and mustard for reviewing your client’s shoe box receipts; turkey and Velveeta cheese for your tax-cheating clients, etc.);
Audit-approved appetizers: A grazing board with cheese cubes, crackers, and small bite-sized vegetables with dip (how healthy (yawn));
Write-off waffles: They don’t actually count as a deduction, but we can dream, can’t we?
IRS-themed fortune cookies: Every fortune just says, “You’re getting audited” ;
Schedule C cinnamon rolls: Mini cinnamon rolls arranged in a dollar sign pattern;
Capital gains candy bar: A DIY candy/chocolate bar with various toppings;
Extension energy bites: No-bake protein balls with oats, peanut butter, and espresso;
Itemized ingredient cups: Individual fruit and yogurt parfaits;
April 15th assortment: A countdown calendar with different treats for the final 15 days of tax season;
Tax bracket tacos: Tiered according to spice level:

10%: Mild salsa, easy filing;
22%: Spicy but manageable;
37%: Ghost pepper — because, at this rate, nothing matters; and

Bottom line brownies: Brownies cut into dollar sign shapes.

Illinois’ new (old) state flag

By Kathryn Zdan, EA

Editorial Director

Illinois residents recently voted on a new design for their state flag after considering thirteen options that included ten new designs,¹ the 1918 Centennial flag, the 1968 Sesquicentennial flag, and the current flag. After culling 4,800 design entries and putting the issue to vote, Illinoisans have spoken: keep the current flag.²

Despite being derisively referred to as “SOB” (seal on a bedsheet, in reference to the circular emblem on a plain white field), the current flag received 43% of the votes, more than any other option. Technically, there were more total votes for the new designs, and the Illinois General Assembly will have the final vote, although it’s unlikely they will deviate from voters’ selection.

You can view all 50 state flags, territory flags, and Native American tribal flags at:

https://bit.ly/flags-us-states-territories

Admittedly, I only recognized a couple, and my personal favorite designs are Arizona, Maryland, Utah, and Chinook Nation.

Update: Chief judge cancels car washes

Michigan Chief Judge William Crawford II has canceled the “Walmart Washes” that we reported on last week. The judge who came up with the sentence didn’t seek approval from other court officials, Crawford said, and Walmart headquarters objected to the car washes being held on store property.¹

However, the legal system has yet to weigh in on the following tax season punishments suggested by Tax Season Tribune readers:

“My punishment isn’t for that one client. It is for Congress who writes the laws. I think every Congress member should be required to prepare their own returns, by hand, without a computer.” — Terri H.

“No matter how many times I tell clients not to send me jpegs of their documents via text message, there is always one or two who do. Their punishment should be that I send them their tax return one page at a time as jpegs to their phone. Let’s see how they like it.” — Linda S.

Do you have any other tax season punishments in mind? Send them to editor@spidell.com.

A few fun facts about this week’s writers:

Sandy Weiner, J.D., as California editor, loves all things California. Whether it's hiking at Big Sur or playing at the beach in San Diego where she lives, Sandy takes full advantage of all that California has to offer as a way to clear her head after trying to comprehend and explain California's Revenue & Taxation Code.

Kathryn Zdan, EA, spends her non-Spidell hours on photography and watching horror films (and then sleeping with the light on). She also enjoys hiking, biking, and watching foreign films.

Austin Lewis loves music and the outdoors, and if he’s not going to a concert you can probably find him on a hike somewhere. Last summer he traveled to Peru, where he spent seven days on the Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu.

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